New Beginnings
Well, it’s time. I’ve been toying with the idea of leaving instagram for some time, especially as it hasn’t served me in the ways I’ve wanted it to for several years.
I first started my account in high school. What first comes to mind is my large thesis piece I did my senior year of high school, made of crushed ebony, gesso, and alcohol. A push and pull to represent my seemingly permanent disassociation. Back when Coach was alive.
For a period, the app was a place for me to share and grow my art. It motivated me. I felt I was present on there. I felt like a part of the artist community, especially just before covid. When covid hit, my presence only blossomed. I got to sell art for the first time and experience having an online store. I built connections with other artists on the app. Many of those artists have probably been more persistent than I have been about posting; maybe they have built a following. But honestly, I don’t know, because I haven’t seen their work in so long. The algorithm has taken control of what you can and cannot see. It makes it hard for those steady and established to remain steady and established; you must be innovative all the time. Keeping up with whatever new thing the app wants to try.
With my schooling and career advancing, my creativity took a back seat. And suddenly, my work was no longer relevant. For some time I was upset with this, but then it made me wonder, who am I really posting for? Who do I create for?
As I dive back into sketching… I know I have to do it for just me. This feeling will likely shift and I will probably want to build the community I once had again, but for now, blogging on my own website feels right.
A place to talk about my feelings and intentions without the overly critical eye and worry of what people will think. A place where I don’t have to think about the formatting or creativity or relevancy of what I post, where like counts don’t exist. Where an algorithm doesn’t conquer. Where I can just share my stuff without all the extra noise.
Ah, yes. That sounds nice. Here we go.
Not sure what my goals are with this yet. I think I just want to create whatever I’m creating and post it with my shpeel. Maybe a shpeel on what I made, what it means, what the creative process was like. Or maybe a shpeel on the bigger picture; on life, what it is to exist, what it is to feel. Maybe one day I’ll have an email newsletter. Idk. It’s kind of very take it or leave it right now.
I do want to have some forethought and structure with what I write though. I’m great with rambling, but sometimes that’s not the easiest read. I want to write something good to read.
Anyways, see ya.
xo A
